


Elusive

by woakiees



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, poe almost gets himself killed again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:08:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22199134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woakiees/pseuds/woakiees
Summary: "Your voice had never once faltered, never once giving away how worried and terrified you had been. It had stayed steady, and confident. You were so sure of your pilot and his ability to get himself home in one piece, and Poe was almost positive that that was what ended up getting him through it."
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 72





	Elusive

The lights in the hangar were dim, almost completely off save for the few workstations still occupied by technicians who decided to work late into the night. It was cold, too, as the temperature dropped along with the sun, stars now filling a midnight sky. Really, it was a perfect evening. The base was quiet, and peaceful. Most people had retired to their quarters for a few hours of well-deserved rest, but Poe couldn’t sleep — didn’t want to sleep. The other side of his bed was cold and he hadn’t seen you since he returned from his solo mission earlier that afternoon.

When he hadn’t seen you standing amongst the group that had gathered to welcome him home, where you were usually standing somewhere along the front line, he had immediately made the short journey to your shared room only to find it empty. He checked the command center next, his second best guess as to where you might be hiding, as that was where you had been during the majority of the mission. You were a higher up in Communications, and the voice he usually heard throwing orders at him through his comlink. Another officer had taken over just ten minutes prior to his landing, offering him no explanation as to where you had run off to. There was a chance, he thought, that you had made your way back to your station at that point, but you were still nowhere to be seen.

One of the other officers, the one who had taken over for you, had forced Poe to go to the medbay after finally leaving the command center. He had completely forgotten about the gash in his eyebrow that was still bleeding pretty heavily. But after getting stitched back together, he continued to look for you any place he could think of. He asked others that he passed in the halls if they had any clue as to where you were, and he sent BB-8 off on his own, hoping the little droid would have a better chance of finding you. He even snuck his way into General Organa’s office to, jokingly, report you missing. Leia had chuckled at the pilot, and had also let him know that you were safe, because she could sense that Poe hadn’t been joking entirely. She knew where you were, but she wouldn’t tell him. While he was a little frustrated that Leia wouldn’t give you up, and while he might not have known where you were hiding, he found comfort in the fact that at least one person did.

But even so, as sleep evaded Poe, he found himself back where the chase had started, a familiar tug pulling in his stomach that appeared whenever you were near. He didn’t know why, but he was sure that you were hiding somewhere amongst the rows of X-Wings. And if his instincts were wrong and you weren’t, he would just start his rotation again, checking each spot he had before, until he either found you or grew too tired to stand.

He slowly walked through the hangar, nodding his head at a few technicians and droids that greeted him in the same fashion. The feeling in his stomach only intensified as he grew closer to the front of the long room, towards where his X-Wing was parked, awaiting repairs that would hopefully be finished by the end of the week if he was lucky enough. He could fly anything, but he didn’t always want to.

Soon enough, a smirk found its way onto Poe’s lips, a sense of satisfaction washing over him as his instincts hadn’t failed him. He heaved a sigh of relief as he spotted your familiar silhouette standing right beside his X-Wing, your form nothing but a shadow in the surrounding darkness.

He came to a slow stop twenty feet away, merely shoving his hands into his pockets as he regarded you carefully. You didn’t move, having not heard his footsteps approach, and he made no attempt to move closer. For the moment, he was content to only watch you, a stupid grin on his face as he innocently looked you up and down.

Poe had a reputation amongst the Resistance for being a charmer. He had a good sense of humor, and he knew all of the right words to say in order to get what he wanted whenever he wanted it. But when it came to you, all of those words more often than not seemed to escape him. You left him completely speechless and, though he would never admit it to another living soul, you made butterflies erupt in the pit of his stomach in a way he had never experienced before. Those butterflies were still ever present, even after years of being together.

You made him blush, you made him stutter. He had tripped over his own two feet several times while watching you from across the room, much to the amusement of his fellow pilots. He may have been the charmer, but you had certainly charmed him, and it definitely wasn’t hard to notice. Anyone who looked at Poe could tell how infatuated he was with you. Anyone who looked at you could tell you felt the same about him.

He had been scared, he would admit, that this mission would be his last. For a solid few minutes, he didn’t see how he could possibly make it out alive and make it back to you. He would also admit that the thought might have left him slightly distracted, as all he could think about was never feeling your soft skin or your lips pressed against his again. He had been glad that you were the one talking to him through his comlink, because at least he could go down hearing you speak to him.

Your voice had never once faltered, never once giving away how worried and terrified you had been. It had stayed steady, and confident. You were so sure of your pilot and his ability to get himself home in one piece, and Poe was almost positive that that was what ended up getting him through it. You had been his motivation through it all.

He continued to watch you as you started to pace around his X-Wing, your finger gently reaching out to brush against the dented metal.

“She’s been here for a while.”

Poe briefly glanced over his shoulder only to find Snap standing a few feet behind him. He didn’t look towards the other pilot for very long, not willing to keep his eyes off of you for more than a few seconds, worried that you would sneak off again and his hunt would start all over.

“Still haven’t talked to her about what happened?”

Poe shook his head, rocking back and forth on his heels gently. “She’s an expert at hiding, y’know.”

“I think you meant she’s an expert at avoiding you.”

“What? She’s not-” Poe stopped himself before he could finish his sentence, knowing that Snap was right.

This was more than just wanting to be left alone. You had never missed welcoming him home, not once. It was usually an event that consisted of hours spent tangled beneath the sheets, soft words spoken between gentle kisses as you showed him just how relieved you were to have him back in your arms. And considering the fact that he had been in the medbay for a short period of time, it left him completely perplexed — you definitely would have been at his side then, not leaving until you were forced to.

“You really scared her this time, Dameron,” Snap said after a few moments of silence. “She held it together pretty well for your sake, but then she just lost it.”

Poe slowly turned to look at the other man, running a hand through his hair that he still hadn’t bothered to wash. “It’s not like I was _trying_ to freak her out.”

“We never _try_ to, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t.”

Poe nodded dejectedly, glancing down towards his shoes. He felt an overwhelming sadness wash over him, his thoughts now shifting to how you must have felt during it all. Not being able to do anything but talk to him, with the fear of the comlink going out at any moment looming in the back of your mind. Having to strategize a plan for him when he could no longer think properly. Having to hear the panic he knew had been in his voice, though he had tried so hard not to show it, hoping that his flirtatious comments and promises of what would come later that night would be enough to cover his true emotions.

It was your job, sure, but Poe knew that if the roles were reversed, he wouldn’t be able to keep his head level enough to work through it. He would have been a mess, but you had been strong, confident in your ability to get him through it. You hadn’t let yourself falter until you were sure he was safe, and that was a skill he would forever admire you for.

“Well, are you just going to stand here for the rest of the night or what?” Snap grumbled, waving his hand in the direction of where you were still standing, still staring at the X-Wing.

Poe didn’t hesitate this time, quickly closing the distance between you. You still didn’t seem to notice his presence even as he grew closer to you, and it wasn’t until he came to a stop directly beside you that you seemed to acknowledge that you were no longer alone.

When you finally looked over to Poe, after several seconds spent in silence, his heart only broke further. Your eyes were bloodshot, tear stains covering your cheeks. You were a hard person to make cry, and the fact that you had been doing so long enough for the evidence to still be visible upon your face only told him that Snap had been right. He really had scared you.

“Oh sweetheart, c’mere” he mumbled, pulling you into his arms without a second thought.

You didn’t fight him. Didn’t have the energy to. You simply laid your head upon his chest, taking in his scent that was oh so familiar and oh so comforting, letting it fill your senses.

You mumbled his name gently, your voice that was barely above a whisper further muffled by his shirt. He had one hand on your back, the other tangled within your hair, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into your scalp. Neither of you spoke for some time, both of you just relieved to have the other in your arms.

It was Poe that pulled away first, his lips meeting your forehead in a gentle kiss, then brushing against your soft skin as he spoke. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

You shook your head, not wanting an apology from him. It wasn’t his fault, not really. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. He had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time, nothing more than that.

“I thought you weren’t coming back to me,” you whimpered, your voice breaking as more tears sprung to your eyes.

“Hey, hey,” Poe reassured, gently beginning to rock you back and forth in his arms. “You can’t get rid of me that easy.”

You didn’t say anything, only pulled him closer and held on as if he would disappear at any moment, and he held you the same. Tears continued to run down your cheeks, the only sound in the hangar being your small sniffles and Poe’s softly spoken, comforting words. He would kiss your forehead every minute or so, just because he could and because he liked feeling your skin under his lips.

Neither of you were exactly sure how much time had passed, but slowly, the room grew darker as the remaining technicians shut down for the night. Poe slowly began to lead you back to your shared quarters, his hand placed firmly on your lower back as he guided you through the halls. You reached your door in a few short minutes, and Poe scanned his keycard quickly before ushering you inside.

BB-8 was still at his charging station, not waking at the sound of the door sliding open. You smiled upon seeing the small droid, thankful that he had made it back safely as well.

Poe dropped his hand from your back and stepped in front of you, reaching for the bottom of your shirt in order to pull it over your head. He threw it to the floor without a care for where it landed and brought his hands to your hips, the tips of his fingers pressing into your skin. You brought your arms up to wrap around his neck, your chest pressed against his just barely. He let his fingers slide across your stomach, and he fumbled with the button of your pants for just a moment before sliding them down your legs, where you shimmied them the rest of the way off your body. You could tell that there wasn’t anything sexual about his actions. He was simply undressing you for bed, helping you to get comfortable for the night.

He let go of you with some reluctance, crossing the room and grabbing a plain black shirt from the closet — one of his that was so soft from being worn for so long. He quickly made his way back to you, and you turned, allowing him to unhook your bra and slide the shirt over your naked torso. He gently spun you back around to face him, and you felt your lips part as an inaudible gasp escaped you.

He stared down into your eyes with such an intensity burning behind his irises, you felt completely glued to the ground beneath you. He slowly reached his hand up to gently cup your cheek, his thumb swiping against your skin, wiping away any trace of tears that might have been leftover. You didn’t even realize that you had been holding your breath until he placed a single, quick kiss to the tip of your nose.

“I’m always going to come back to you, you know that, don’t you?”

You smiled, though it still held a certain sadness to it. “Poe, you can’t promise that. Anything could happen-”

He interrupted you with another kiss, though this time to your lips. You kissed him back without hesitation, your eyes falling shut automatically as you let yourself succumb to everything that was him. His tongue ran against your bottom lip, begging for entrance which you happily granted. You felt his other hand plant itself on your lower back once again, and he pulled you closer until you were pressed firmly against him, and then suddenly, his hands were on the back of your thighs and he was lifting you. You wrapped your legs around his torso with ease, and he stepped back until he hit the bed, instantly sitting down and holding you in his lap all while never breaking the kiss.

You pulled away just a moment later, after hearing a strangled whimper catch itself in the back of his throat. You were breathing heavy, your cheeks flushed from the passion behind his kiss, and Poe was looking into your eyes again, almost pleadingly so, seeming to beg you for something that he didn’t have the courage to say with words.

It only took you a moment to figure out why.

He was still terrified. Terrified that this would happen again.

He had been just as scared as you. Just as scared that he was going to die in a blazing inferno as his X-Wing crashed to the ground. Just as scared that he would never see you again.

And he feared that you both would have to endure it all over again.

You couldn’t count the number of times he had said “I love you” during those terrifying seven minutes ( _had it really been only seven minutes?_ ), wanting them to be the last words you would hear from him, and the last words he would ever say. If he was going to die, he wanted to die knowing that he had told you how much he loved you as many times as possible. He wanted to make sure that you knew, and that you would never doubt it, or forget it.

You shook your head gently, hoping that the small action would clear the memories from your mind, at least for a time. You brought your eyes back to Poe’s, thinking for a moment about how lost you could become in the deep brown colors before finding your train of thought again.

“You’re always going to come back to me,” you found yourself saying, assurance and conviction dripping from every word.

Poe nodded his head hastily, trying to pull your face back to his only for you to shake your head, not finished with your words.

“You’re always going to come back to me, because you are Poe Fucking Dameron, the best pilot in the entire Resistance. You’re always going to find your way back home, no matter what it takes. Do you understand?”

He nodded again, just as quickly as before, letting your words convince him that he was safe. He could go on future missions without having to be afraid. He could do it, he had done it so many times before. He had come close to dying before, though never as close as he had been this time around, but he always got himself out of it. He always made it out alive, and he always got to come home to your waiting arms. He could do it, because you had faith in him, and that was all that he needed for the fear that had been creeping into his veins to disappear.

But you still weren’t finished. Your voice had been steady, but you had to force yourself to swallow the lump in your throat before speaking again.

“You are _always_ going to come back to me, because I can’t stand to do life without you, Poe Dameron.”

“Please just fucking kiss me, Y/N,” he mumbled, not bothering to hide the desparation for you in his voice. “I just need you to kiss me.”

And you did. You kissed him and touched him and loved him until the sun came up, neither of you bothering to move even as your alarm sounded the next morning. Everyone could handle themselves for a few hours.

Except that they couldn’t, and as pounding fists banged against your door, begging for you both to come out, Poe groaned. You sighed gently, running your fingers through his tousled hair, hoping that Finn and Jess would both just go away. The banging only continued, and Poe lifted his face from the crook of your neck, a lazy, tired smile on his lips, hair disheveled from last night’s activities.

“Duty calls.”

Your man was back, no evidence of doubt or fear in his voice. Only confidence, and maybe just a touch of cockiness. But still, it brought a proud grin to your face.

“Go get’em, Commander Dameron.”


End file.
